mannerless | ic inbox, vestige.

[ That... is not what he meant. But he can't argue either, his face isn't anywhere near thick enough to have a second conversation about feelings within as many months. ]

No doubt. You'll be back to being the bane of my existence soon enough.

( oh, he knows. don't worry. he knows, and he feels inexplicably more buoyant because of it. )

I truly will. At all hours. It'll be great.

At all hours? Spare me.

[ Don't spare him, please. ]

If you wake me up in the middle of the night I'll have to send Blossom after you.

As if you won't regardless.

Excuse me! I wouldn't!

Who are you calling a bully here, keep it up and I'm really sending her after you!

Shall I take that as your word that you'll come back safely?

Wei Wuxian. I'm going to catch a goat. I'm not going into battle.

Is that a yes or a no?

Of course I'm going to come back safely. I'm going to catch a goat, Wei Wuxian.

[ But. It feels nice to be worried over by him. ]

You're apologizing with a goat?

There's nothing wrong with giving a lady a goat!

( !!! A LADY YOU SAY )

Are you at least going to bathe it first?

WHY?!

She's not going to keep it like a lap dog!

"Here you go, Madam, I've brought you this smelly goat! It's a symbol of all of the amends I wish to make - the reek clearly represents how much I stink for upsetting you."

I've changed my mind, it's a great idea.

IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT

But FINE I will put a purple bow on the goat! Are you happy now?!

Y'know what? Yeah, actually. That's much better. Unless the goat eats it, but I suppose then you've done what you can, hmm?

If the goat eats it

Well. Yes. I will have done what I can. At least she will have confirmation that the goat has a healthy appetite.

HMMMMM

Do you think that you should perhaps bring an extra ribbon to test such a thing?

I didn't even bring a single ribbon, Wei Wuxian. I'll have to get one, or two, once I've acquired the goat.

After you've acquired it? Jiang Cheng. Suppose you climb all the way down the mountain and find your apology goat a ribbon and he won't even eat the thing, what then?

I

I don't know!

Look, I won't go back and get another goat if the first won't eat the ribbon!

[ When did they even decide the goat eating the ribbon is a good thing? Why did he ever agree to a ribbon in the first place??? ]

Your funeral, I suppose, once you've died of shame and embarrassment that your smelly goat won't even eat a simple ribbon.

MY GOAT ISN'T SMELLY

All goats are smelly. Unless you're bathing it after all?

I will just pick a non-smelly one, alright! Don't be stupid!

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mannerless - 2020-12-09 21:58 (UTC) - Expand

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legbreakings - 2020-12-09 22:02 (UTC) - Expand