( he assumes it's sizhui again. the boy is certainly the sort to earnestly, nervously follow up even after a conversation has so clearly been left to lie, and he opens his phone without thinking, not even thinking to check the sender until he sees 'a-xian'.
when he does, all the air leaves his lungs as fiercely as if he's been punched. cognitively, he knew she was here - that he could even see her, if he simply went back to the cabins - but part of him hadn't quite been able to reconcile that reality. as if it was a dream which would fade away now that he knows the potential untruth of it.
the rest of him, meanwhile, simply hadn't had it in him to face her. not until he could pull himself together - all the way, not just halfway, because otherwise the second they made contact he'd just - )
un: wei.wuxian
when he does, all the air leaves his lungs as fiercely as if he's been punched. cognitively, he knew she was here - that he could even see her, if he simply went back to the cabins - but part of him hadn't quite been able to reconcile that reality. as if it was a dream which would fade away now that he knows the potential untruth of it.
the rest of him, meanwhile, simply hadn't had it in him to face her. not until he could pull himself together - all the way, not just halfway, because otherwise the second they made contact he'd just - )
shijie i'msorry i'm so ssorry
i ruined everything
nobody was supoosedto die
( - break down entirely. )